


Fly me to the moon

by nishiki



Series: Thistle and Weeds [8]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - No Apocalypse, Brotherly Affection, Brotherly Bonding, Brothers, Drug Abuse, Drug Withdrawal, Fluff, Gen, Heart-to-Heart, Luther is being a good brother, Mentions of Suicide Attempts, Protective Older Brothers, Sibling Bonding, Stargazing, soft Luther
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-02-07 12:17:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18620467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nishiki/pseuds/nishiki
Summary: Luther can't sleep and finds a restless Klaus. Deciding to help his brother through this worst of his withdrawal, Luther shows him the stars.





	Fly me to the moon

**April 2019**

 

He couldn't find sleep. That was not rare these days. In fact, it seemed to be his new normal since he came back down to earth. Ever since he came back home, his life seemed out of balance. And ever since he knew the truth about his mission to the moon, well … The ugly truth was that he had no idea who he was anymore or what the purpose of his life was. He had been living a lie for four whole years of his life, thinking he was doing the right thing, convinced that his father would never lie to him and send him up there for no good reason. Up there, he had had a mission and down here he had … nothing, really.

He was lost.

Perhaps that was why he couldn't seem to find any sleep anymore these days. At least he was not the only restless soul in this academy, as he realized wandering these halls. It shouldn't come as a surprise to him to find Klaus in the game room upstairs playing darts and failing to hit his target miserably. The wall around the dartboard was peppered with darts sticking out of the wood and the wallpaper. His fingers were trembling too badly for Klaus to even once hit the intended target or at least the board itself.

Luther just stood there in the doorway as silently as he could as he watched how Klaus let out a frustrated groan and went to pick the darts out of the wall. »Diego’s gonna kill me.« He heard him mutter to himself. »Oh, shut your cakehole, Benedict Arnold. Obviously, you didn't win either!«

Sometimes, Luther and the rest of his siblings would still flinch whenever Klaus would mention Ben being in the same room as them but at least they had come to accept it as truth that Ben was still around them - even though only Klaus had the privilege of seeing him. He missed Ben. However, knowing that he was here with them, though odd, was comforting in a way.

»It seems you could need some practice.« He didn't mean to startle his brother but startling him seemed just so easy these days. He was nervous and fidgety and was now in the thick of withdrawal, relapse always only an arm's length away now. He was still healing from his unfortunate adventure with Cha-Cha and Hazel but he was doing much better than Luther would have expected.

»Oh, fuck, Luther!« Klaus gasped and pressed a hand to his heart. He was finally wearing something else but those ridiculous leather pants. Apparently, old habits die hard and Klaus was back to being the family’s favorite magpie. The sweatpants he was wearing and the t-shirt were clearly stolen from Diego’s wardrobe. Not that any of them cared much when Klaus stole their clothes. In fact, Diego seemed rather encouraging of this habit as he, though being the tidiest of the bunch, kept his most comfortable clothes lying around his room on a silver platter these days. »Warn a guy next time!«

»Sorry.« He replied sheepishly with a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth before he walked into the room and stepped over to the pool table in the middle just to lean against it. He had spent many lonely days in this room, playing pool or darts against himself. After his siblings left, the house had been so big and quiet and … lonely. »Can't sleep?«

Klaus let out a deep sigh. »You too, huh?«

They had never been particularly close. Not like Klaus and Ben or Klaus and Diego. Still, Luther felt a deep connection to the brother he had always dismissed as being just a junkie, just a disappointment. Of course, part of this was his father’s fault but he couldn't claim that he wouldn't carry a bit of that same guilt on his own shoulders as well. He had allowed his father to brainwash him like this, after all. That he hadn't been there for his brother when Klaus had needed him the most, he could not blame just on his father or his upbringing. He had been a shitty brother. Even when he had tried to help Klaus a few years ago he had done so for his own selfish reasons because he couldn't stand being alone.

Being alone for four years on the moon seemed to have been the proper punishment for his misguided attempts of helping Klaus and, in essence, trying to cage him here, he assumed.

»It's odd being back home, is all.« Luther shrugged and was aware of the way Klaus studied his face. Klaus had always been able to see more than those around him. More than just ghosts too.

»It's odd being sober.« He humored him instead of saying what he really thought. That was just how Klaus was. And Klaus, ever the perceptive one, also pointed at Luther’s face next with a small grin as he found the black eye that Luther had gained in the evening hours. »Diego?« He asked with a smirk.

»We got in a fight.«

»You always get into fights. That's what you do.« he gave a dismissive wave with his left hand. »Other people knit or do Sudoku, you fight with Diego. Everyone’s got their hobbies, right? So what's the story? You spit into his disgusting protein shake that he drinks as a sorry excuse for a proper dinner?«

»No … No, it's just … He is so infuriating sometimes.« Luther groaned. »It seems his only job in life it to antagonize me.«

»Well, you are two ends of the same spectrum.«

»What?«

» _You_ are daddy’s perfect soldier and _he’s_ a momma’s boy. Same spectrum, different ends. Of course, you clash.«

»It's not that easy.« Luther replied but couldn't help the chuckle. Maybe a few weeks ago, he would have reacted in anger to those words but now he couldn't help but see the truth and the humor in them.

»Oh, yes it is.« Klaus grinned. »Believe me when I tell you that, from an outsider's perspective, some things are a lot clearer and easier to understand.«

»And where are you on the spectrum?«

»Well, I was always more of a momma’s boy myself.« Klaus huffed with a soft roll of his eyes before they shortly darted to a corner of the room right behind Luther. _Ben_ , he thought.

»So you are on Diego's side.« He concluded but didn't feel the old anger that he would have allowed himself to experience just a month ago. As much as Allison always seemed to have _his_ back no matter what, Klaus had always seemed to be on Diego’s side.

»Only when he’s right.«

»And when he’s not?«

»Then I throw butter into his protein shake because I am a petty bitch. And don't worry, he’s often wrong about shit. So, I will lean back and slowly watch him get fat and he will never suspect a thing. I am his personal Judas.«

This finally prompted a full-body laugh from Luther. He didn't even know when he had last laughed so hard at anything his brother said. Klaus had always been much more of a nuisance because he messed things up on purpose and couldn't stick to rules even if his life depended on it. A comfortable silence fell over them as Klaus put the darts away in defeat. He had never realized how much he had missed Klaus’ in the past twelve years. Sober Klaus, he might add.  

»Hey, I have an idea.« Luther then smiled as he pushed himself off of the pool table again. Leave it to Klaus to just tag along when someone would say they had an idea. Klaus followed him without much hesitation or asking questions when Luther walked out of the game room. Klaus was always up for an adventure, after all, and he liked that about the former problem child of their family. You can always count on Klaus to have a good time.

It felt like it had been a lifetime since he had last set foot into the observatory of the academy. It was certainly not as big as the observatory in the city where Reginald had once taken all his children for a field trip but it was enough for Luther to feel a little nostalgic. The room was the highest point of the house, almost completely round and with a glass dome on top.

»Missing the moon aren't we?« Klaus huffed as they entered the room and walked around the telescope in the middle. Around the room, his father had once set up a number of couches or armchairs but most of the room was designed to study and work with desks standing around covered in notes and books and small tables showing all kinds of different models of planets or the solar system. Quite a few old dusty carpets and rugs gave the observatory a nice, warm feeling. As a child, Luther had spent almost every second of his free time up here watching the sky. No wonder his siblings had quickly given him the nickname _Spaceboy_.

»Kinda, yeah.« Luther hummed as he took a seat on the ground on one of the softer carpets where he had once been laying for hours on end without a care in the world, without an inkling of the horrors that were to come later in his life. Good times.

»I feel ya.« Klaus huffed as he roamed the room. »I kinda miss the drugs too.«

There was this voice in the back of his head that always sounded a little like their father and the voice wanted to throw some insult at his brother. He swallowed the urge, though. Just a month ago, Luther would have yelled at Klaus that he couldn't compare his drug addiction to Luther’s relationship with the moon or, in extension of that, his father. Now, however, he knew that, in a way, it was true. What was Klaus without his drugs? What was Luther without his father?

»You're doing great though.«

»Oh, come on.« Klaus huffed walking around the room for a moment, his fingers gently brushing the dust from one of the self-made models of the solar system. Luther recognized it as the one that Klaus had built. His had turned out the best of all of them. Klaus, back then, had the calmest hands when it came to holding a paintbrush and so he had diligently and calmly painted all his planets perfectly. He was an artist and he remembered being so jealous of how neatly it had turned out, that he had told him the wrong order of the planets when Klaus came to him for advice. After staring at the model for a moment longer, Klaus then returned to Luther and flopped down next to him on the carpet.

»No, I mean it.« Luther responded and tried to swallow the old awkwardness. He had never quite known how to properly talk to anyone except Allison or Dad. »I’m gonna be honest here … In the beginning, I thought it was only a matter of days until you would relapse.« Klaus looked at him in surprise and Luther immediately felt guilt gnaw on him. »I’m sorry.«

»No, it's okay.« Klaus laughed as he sank on his back and crossed his arms behind his head. »At least you are honest. The others walk on eggshells around me and never even dare to use this big bad D-word, or, God forbid, the R-word. It's refreshing to hear someone openly speak their mind for once.«

They shared a rare smile with each other as Luther too sank on his back, mirroring Klaus, and looked at the sky above them. The night hung dark above them, the sky a clear solid black and the stars twinkling down on them like old friends.

»What was it like up there?« Klaus asked after a moment of silence between the two brothers. He thought about the model of the solar system again. Dad had yelled at Klaus for doing it wrong and then forced him to write an entire essay about the proper system of it. He still felt guilty about it and wondered if Klaus had known, back then, that Luther had deliberately betrayed him.

»Lonely.« Luther sighed. »And quiet. I missed listening to music. In the beginning, I thought the quiet was nice but … it was deafening after a while.« _And I missed you. I missed all of you._ He couldn't say that, of course.  

»I don't know … peace and quiet does sound kinda nice to me for a change. Perhaps _I_ should go to the moon.«

»You mean the ghosts? Is it bad?«

»Getting worse by the minute the longer I stay sober.« Klaus huffed. Usually, he would have found some witty way around it but that he was actually telling the truth now, meant the world to Luther. He couldn't even remember a time when he had just calmly had an honest conversation with Klaus.

»I never asked what it's like.« Luther realized, his eyes fixed on the stars above them for the moment. Stargazing had always calmed his nerves. As a child, he had dreamed of being up there on the moon, looking down on his beloved planet Earth but now that he got to experience that, he wished he had never been this naive as a child.

»The ghosts?« Klaus sighed. »It's … loud. They are loud. It's like … no matter where you are, you are always stuck in a crowded room, you know? They are always screaming, always demanding stuff that I cannot give them. And it's not like I wouldn't wanna help them … I just don't know how. You never have any sense of privacy either. So … yeah, just imagine taking a dump with fifteen other people in the room watching you.«

It was meant as a joke, clearly, but Klaus sounded too somber and serious for it to be understood as a joke. Luther couldn't help but feel sorry for his brother. As a kid, they all had always acted as if Klaus was doing the crazy shit he did for attention and not one of them had stopped and bothered to think about the real reasons for his behavior. Luther had never stopped to consider that his brother was being tormented by the demons only he could see. No wonder he turned to drugs and alcohol.

»It's always one big party.« Klaus then chuckled.

»And what's with Ben? Has he always been there?«

»Oh, yes, Baby. Came to me fresh out of the grave, so to say. Scared the shit out of me.«

»So you always saw him? Even high? Why?«

»Dunno.« Klaus huffed. »I guess, Ben is just one stubborn son of a bitch. He was always grinding on my nerves too. _Klaus, you need to get sober. Klaus, stop doing this shit. Klaus, call Diego. Klaus, do this. Klaus, do that._ He is my own personal Jiminy Cricket.«

»Is he here now?«

»No.« There was a pause. »I mean he was. We played darts together. Turns out playing darts with a ghost is playing darts with yourself. He left though when you took me up here.«

»Why?«

»Oh, to do whatever ghosts do, I guess. Good old Benjamin Button is of the opinion, much like Diego as I might add, that his junkie brother should be under surveillance 24/7 by one of you guys so that I wouldn't dare relapse again. And if none of you is around, it's his job to be my babysitter.« He took a deep breath and a moment later, Luther felt Klaus scoot closer to him. It was actually kinda nice to lie beside Klaus like this, feel his brother rest beside him on the ground and know that he was alive and breathing and okay. »It's sometimes really annoying to always have a ghost like Benny follow you around and nag you about every little thing you do but … I’m thankful for it too. Without Ben … I don't know. Maybe I wouldn't be here now.«

It wasn't as if none of them wouldn't have seen the scars on Klaus’ arms. It wasn't as if none of them wouldn't have figured already that Klaus had had his fair share of suicide attempts in the past. They were not blind, after all. But Klaus was still here and he could tell that he didn't want to talk about it. Maybe he should insist on it. But maybe Klaus just wanted to leave this chapter of his life behind for good and start over and who was Luther to deny him that?

»Enough of that.« Klaus decided with a grin as Luther gave him a sideways glance. »Tell me, dear brother, what can you tell me about the stars?«

Luther had no idea when either one of them had fallen asleep. He had spent what felt like hours pointing out the different star formations above them or telling Klaus stories about the different tiny stars shining down on them. He had told him about the moon and what it was like being up there and Klaus, for once, had just listened.

At one point, Klaus had put his head on Luther’s chest right above his heart and his arm around his middle to be closer to Number One. Klaus had always been tactile with his siblings, always in need of affection and bodily contact and Luther didn't mind holding his brother close as he was going through the worst of his withdrawal.

He had talked more and explained until his voice went raw as Klaus’ had trembled in his arms like a leave on a tree during an autumn storm. Klaus had been silent as a mouse, only watched the stars and listened to Luther droning on and on about them. Klaus being silent was always a bad sign and so Luther had scooped up every little detail he could think of to make Klaus smile and distract him from the pain he was in.

His brother had fallen asleep before him. He was almost certain of it and he had probably fallen asleep during his ramblings about the moon at one point. As Luther woke up the next morning, the soft glow of the rising sun was filling out the room and crept into every little crevice. He felt the familiar weight of a woolen blanket resting on him and his first reaction was one of panic that Klaus might have left to do God-knows-what but then he realized that the weight of Klaus’ head on his chest was still there, his ear pressing against Luther’s heart just the same as when they had been children.

Klaus was still lost in a deep sleep as he rested on him like this. He looked small when he was asleep. Not at all like the loud-mouthed crazed lunatic they were all so used to.

»Morning.« A gruff voice greeted silently from one of the armchairs standing around the room at his right-hand side. As Luther glanced over, he could see Diego resting comfortably on the chair, his legs thrown over the armrest and his head against the backrest. He looked as if he had been asleep like this for a while. Luther was quick to bite down on the smile that threatened to take over his face at the realization that Diego had found them here and went to fetch a blanket for them only to then stay with them for the rest of the night.

Diego was like a cat. He needed to be allowed to come and go as he pleased. He couldn't be tied down, much like Klaus. And though most people thought that he was bad at showing affection for his siblings, their family knew that this was not the case at all. Diego was probably the last one of them who could be expected to say ‘I love you’ to either one of them, but he showed his love in many tiny gestures all throughout the day. He was the cat that would drag home a bird or mouse as a gift.

Diego, thankfully, though would bring a blanket for two of his brothers he found sleeping on the floor. Diego would pick up a book he had _accidentally_ found at the bookstore and of which he _suspected_ Vanya might like it to give it to her. Diego would cook soup for Five when he would sneeze all over the breakfast table. Diego would go running with Luther when he realized how antsy their useless team leader was. Diego would make a snide comment to Allison so that she would get her head out of her ass and actually call her ex-husband to discuss things with him - and then take the phone and threaten the guy if necessary. Diego would take Klaus for a drive in the middle of the night just because he knew that his brother would fall asleep from the vibrations of the car and he would drive around town for hours and hours.

»Morning.« Luther replied with a small cough. Klaus didn't seem bothered by it. He was completely out of it and, at least, the trembling seemed to have stopped. Neither Diego nor Luther spoke another word for the next hour until Klaus woke up. They just stayed where they were, looking at the early morning sky that was bathed in pink and waited.

»Waffles.« Klaus rasped after an eternity. At first, Luther was certain that his brother was just talking in his sleep but then his voice came again. »Waffles … I’m craving waffles, Lu.«


End file.
